mercoledì 5 novembre 2014

a day in Thor's life

yeeeeee, that's nice, my personal Big Two-Legs left me with Hairy she-dog that I like very much and her Small Two-Legs... she's very tiny, I can overpower her very easily

OK, she's tiny, but she's scary. She shouts LANGSAM so harshly that I stop myself and prey for the better

up to to forest!!!! Everything is so interesting, I want to do what I want to do and don't care about anything else....

well, I have to admit, she's a tiny stubborn Two-Legs. If I pull that awful rope all the Two-Legs love using with us, the Dogs, because I want to go somewhere, she doesn't allow me to go anywhere, but if I act as if I don't want to go anywhere, well then she gives me the freedom to go somewhere. Very annoying! I think I'll try to kill her by making her nose diving in the mud...

OK, she's got mud everywhere and I think she got a wrist dislocated, but the leash rule is still on...damn it! In retaliation, I walk as fast as 25 kg-lead cube

I don't trust this Two-Legs, I don't know her, she's too tiny, she speaks oddly, she wants me to do what I don't want to do. I trust the Hairy she-dog, instead, so she's my boss and if she stops by and sniffs, I freeze and become a marble dog...fuck Tiny Two-Legs

well, at first glance Tiny Two-Legs doesn't like marble dogs. She seizes me by the neck and she makes me walk at her side. The Hairy she-dog has told me that she did exactly the same with her, when she was younger and never wanted to walk. Good for me, I get a lot of food by obeying to her LAUFEN and FUSS

Home...let's make a mess...too bad Tiny Two-Legs has organized the furniture in a very smart, dogproof, way

we play, play, play, play and Tiny Two-Legs looks happy

then I start to jump everywhere, jump for the cat, jump for the bones, jump for the toys, and she is not happy at all...AHAHAHA, I'm evil

mmmm....I changed my mind, she's the Evil, she knows nothing but THOR, NEIN...her German is sooooo poor

we play Obedience and I do a beautiful DA BLEIB, I get TOOOONS of food

Hairy she-dog is very tired, she wants to sleep but I am a restless lice. I receive the scariest woof ever

it's only me and Tiny Two-Legs now: open warfare. She want me to rest, I want to check if the cables behing the TV are well connected, then I want to choke myself with the satellite dish, then the cat on the table suddenly becomes very interesting, then I tidy up the XBOX games and DVD shelf. I don't know how many times I do PLATZ, I'm stubborn, she too

I'm tired to fight against her, I think I sleep. I feel a little insecure, maybe I'm a little afraid of I don't know what, so I looked for a corner where to lie down... it seems to me that the tiny Two-Legs has understood and said OK. Finally...

I had one-hour nap???!?!?!?!?!? OMG, let's make another mess, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

we are outside for pee&poop....there's a situation here...if I want to stay on the right, Tiny Two-Legs wants me on the left, if I want to run, she wants me to stay quiet, if I want to eat whatever, she shouts, if I want to freeze, she trails me...she never gives up, Hairy she-dog tells she comes from a region where stubborn-as-a-mule is the best compliment ever... the food she gives when I obey is super, though... my belly hold me hostage

Hairy she-dog sleeps on the floor,

Tiny Two-Legs does something in front of a bright box, Out-of-reach Cat is at her side sleeping,

I sleep one eye open on the top of Hairy's large soft pillow: Labrador 1 - Bergamasker 0

yeeeeee, another time obedience: SITZ, food, PLATZ, food, PFOTEN, food, DA BLEIB, food, WARTE, food

My Big Two-Legs is here, at last! Well, it looks like a very hard day, but Tiny Two-Legs points out that my tail has been wagging all the time...her logic shows no compassion....damn it, dogs are open books

martedì 4 novembre 2014

10 anni di meno

il cane che scappa incorrendo un gatto, risale un terrapieno con pendenza da Panda 4x4 e finisce in piena Zurzacherstrasse, l'unica cazzo di strada trafficata in questo buco di paese

in Italia ne starei raccogliendo il puzzle 2D, qui si è fermato il tir: Svizzeri, vi amo e non parlerò più male della vostra ossequiosità alle regole

ciao alla voce dopo le urla che le ho lanciato, prima perché si fermasse, poi perché venisse, infine per pura e limpida paura di quello che sarebbe potuto succedere, schiacciandola a terra con gesto di dominanza

lo so, è l'adolescenza canina, non è malanimo, è che proprio il cervello smette fisiologicamente di funzionare secondo ragione, ci sono passata anche io, mica ho dimenticato, però capisco come ogni tanto ai genitori di 15enni altrettanto senza testa scappi un ceffone

siamo tornate a casa a guinzaglio corto e nessun brava, questa dovrebbe essere la faccia di un cane che sa di averla fatta grossa, ma non ci metterei la mano sul fuoco che non stia solo facendo l'attrice

sabato 1 novembre 2014

verde brillante

Dopo essere rimasta folgorata dai broccoli di S, la famosa cuoca S, voilà che sono andata a ripassare le regole che la comodità della pentola a pressione mi aveva fatto dimenticare

abbasso i broccoli verdone militare